A rough day

I just sent a letter declining my entrance into seminary. That was a tough one to write, because i really don't want to put it off. In other news, i was not being smart with the canoe last night in the dark and broke a truck window. There goes a couple hundred bucks that i don't really have, but i'll have to deal with it.
I realize that i have a tendency to mess things up. I'm so terribly happy that salvation does not depend on my will or effort, but on God's. His covenant is his and becomes ours as a gift. I like how in Genesis 4 God puts a rainbow in the sky. When i see a rainbow i sometimes think to myself "this is a gift God gave to remind us of His covenant." But Genesis 4 says otherwise. In it, God says "I will look upon it that I may remember my everlasting covenant." It is good to remember God's covenant, but the covenant itself depends on God's memory, not my forgetfulness. Spurgeon points out, "It is not my remembering God, but God's remembering me which is the ground for my safety; it is not my laying hold of His covenant, but His covenant laying hold of me. Glory be to God! The whole of the bulwarks of salvation are secured by divine power...and are guarded by almighty strength."
On the same note, i heard a sermon on the Passover the other day. It was not a great sermon, but it reminded me of a great sermon that my friend Jeremy gave on the same text. The Isrealites were to put the lamb's blood on the doorpost, and God says "When I see the blood I will pass over the house." It was not dependent upon the Isrealites seeing the blood, but God looking upon it and acting. It puts a depth into the words "God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me." It is God looking to Christ for our salvation and righteousness, for we have no merit or righteousness on our own, all is Christ's and has been imputed to us by a miraculous act. I guess today is rough, but it is still a good day. I have nothing that is worth complaining about and plenty worth rejoicing over.